Thursday, November 15, 2007

Positive Family Solutions™: Parents and Teens Unite™

Dear Parents:

Remember the days when your child looked lovingly into your eyes and said, “You’re the smartest person in the whole wide world?” Wow, what a great feeling that was! You felt connected, life was good.

Then, without warning this same child looks into your eyes and says, “You don’t know what you’re talking about! You don’t know anything!” What a blow to your ego! It didn’t stop there. The insults felt like arrows piercing through your heart.

Parents often wonder what they’ve done wrong to deserve such treatment. The good news is likely you’ve done nothing wrong.

Welcome to the world of Adolescence!

- Do you feel like your teen or pre-teen is a complete stranger?
- Have the lines of communication been severed?
- Is your teen making poor choices or struggling in school?
- Do you feel all hope is gone?
- Are you running out of options?

There is HOPE!

Today many pre-teens and teens are more attached to their peers and to the peer culture than they are to their own families. Many are making poor decisions that negatively affect their lives, and yours.

What can you do to prevent the diminishing attachments between you and your kids? How can you create a world at home that allows your kids to feel a “connectedness” that they more readily create with their peers?

What’s the answer?

Is it possible to reconnect? YES!

t is possible to create peace in an environment that is filled with anger and blame.

Raising a child is one thing. Raising an adolescent is quite another. Children move through several stages from childhood through the teen years. We act as the managers in our children’s lives when they are young by scheduling appointments, providing transportation, and organizing events.

As they make the shift into adolescence our role as parents needs to change. Teens want and need to become the managers of their own lives.

We all know the benefits of coaching … sports teams hire coaches to give their players instruction and direction. Individuals hire life coaches to help them determine and achieve their personal goals. Companies hire coaches to help generate new business ideas, to increase employee satisfaction, and to increase profits.

Years ago I thought, “Why not bring coaching to families?” As time went on the concept of parents becoming the coach for their own teen was introduced to me. And I thought, “Why not?”

Imagine what life would be like at home if you had the skills to coach your pre-teen or teen through one of the most complex times in his or her life. You will not only discover how to guide your teen through this most difficult time, you will also build a strong and lasting relationship. You can learn - I can help.

After delving into the idea of “Parent as Coach” I found it to be a win-win for both parents and teens. After all, who better for the job than a teen’s own parent?

I can also help by coaching your teen who is struggling in school or having a tough time making the right decisions for his or her life.

Three Layers of Learning™

Positive Family Solutions™ has found a winning combination for parents ready to delve into becoming their teens’ coach, the Three Layers of learning™.

First, an interactive experience-based coaching relationship is developed between parent and coach. The coach asks the parent for his or her desired outcomes.

Next, throughout the coaching relationship I will provide you with learning and developmental tools, including Parent as Coach, written by Diana Sterling. You will then have the opportunity to read, reflect, and observe what you have learned.

And finally, through coaching, weekly reading, and practical homework assignments, you will have the opportunity to immediately put the skills into practice. These skills can then be applied to everyday life.

The benefits of coaching are ever-reaching. While working to become your teen's coach you will find that you too will benefit from the experience. One client recently said, “I’ve seen a positive change not only in my kids but in myself as well.”

A little about me - Isabelle Zehnder – your coach …

I am a Family and Life Coach and the Founder and CEO of Positive Family Solutions™ and Parents and Teens Unite!™ I offer coaching to families through one-on-one telephone or in-person coaching, workshops, and seminars. I have worked with families for over 20 years.

I am an Active Member of the International Coaching Federation and an active member of their local Chartered Chapter, the Northwest Coaches Association.

My niche as a Family and Life Coach is working with parents and teens. My focus is on helping families get through the rough spots: Adolescence, Blended Families, Divorce, and Empty Nest, to name a few.

I am also the Founder and President of CAICA, a non-profit organization exposing the abuse in boot camps and other residential treatment programs for children and teens. It is my goal to help families stay together whenever possible.

I developed the Three Layers of Learning™, a winning formula for helping parents become the coach in their teen's life and for helping teens navigate through the uncharted waters of adolescence.

I offer coaching to parents (and sometimes to teens) in an effort to help them work through the problems that are pushing them apart. Parents and I have found that quite often the problems that seem insurmountable are quite easily resolved through coaching.

Teens need to start managing their own lives and do not want their parents doing it for them. It's hard as a parent to let go of that piece, but it's vital to your relationship with your teen.

I have researched child behavior and child development for many years and have authored and published a number of articles. I have also attended and participated in a series of seminars and workshops regarding families, children, and teens. I have been invited to speak on child, teen, and family issues both on radio and at workshops and seminars.

I was awarded the TASH Award in Excellence for Public Service in 2006, was recently asked to serve on their Public Policy Committee, and to speak at their 2007 conference. TASH is a non-profit disabilities organization.

My professional experience spans from mortgage and banking to working in the legal field as a legal secretary/paralegal. My entrepreneur experience spans from operating an in-home licensed day care and pre-school for young children; to providing community workshops for parents, children, and teens; and now to coaching families.

I have volunteered a vast number of hours helping families over the past twenty-five years. I have tutored children and teens with learning disabilities and those who needed assistance to meet their potential.

So, let me train you to be your TEEN’S coach!

The fact is … many of today’s parents were raised in homes where they felt silenced, like they didn’t measure up and that’s not what they wanted for their child. Yet they struggle to find ways to open the lines of communication with their teen. As a result many parents have lost hope.

With the support of a skilled coach parents and teens can coexist in an environment rooted in Trust, Support, Respect, and Understanding - an environment free of punishment and undeserved guilt.

Coaching creates Harmony when once there was Discord - Joy when once there was Despair - Peace of mind when once there was Confusion.

By making the shift to Appreciate, to Understand, to Support, and to Respect our children and our spouses, teens and pre-teens can experience healthy connections in the home with parents and outside the home with their peers.

If you are interested in exploring if coaching is right for you, call for your complementary consultation (360) 723-5253. I offer one-on-one telephone coaching, workshops, and in-person coaching.


Isabelle Zehnder
Family and Life Coach
Positive Family Solutions™